Bliss and Fear

The words have dried slowly
Leaving me so suddenly
It's all in the vision
Dying in the silken passion...
I refuse to be sharing
The soft tensions easing
They need not know
Where my soul alone must go...
Too long have I felt this
Long has it been for me to miss
And there, in the background, 
I await for that little sound....
I would understand
Just why you may never again take my hand
But in my soul and on my body
Is imprinted the sweet memory...
I feel sadness engulfing my mind
Along with a pain so unkind
I know not why, 
Yet I cannot deny
Both bliss and fear
Are within me my dear....


Laurence Ramos
March, 9th. 2013

Stubborn

It's the same as it was before, 

A bit of a dusty encore

The wallpaper isn't the same

And for this I have life to blame

But the girl is the same as she was

There's little to scratch on the surface

The heart beats at the same rate

Still works against her own fate

Always sitting where she sleeps

The same spot where always weeps

Still writes in the hope of offloading

The feelings that keep on building

Inside this tired and lonely mind

Those feelings so often unkind

and the heart is still tired you see

Tired of being me....

The dark of the eyes grows within

The soul too strong to keep in 

Too stubborn to quit swiftly

Never giving up quickly...

And so the girl lives on here

Inside the woman filled with fear

Blindly following that stubborn heart

Beating with pain for those from whom she is apart

Living behind a curtain of smoke so dark

Daily revisiting those fateful moments that left their mark

On her, tracing a time line upon her body slowly

Each time she broke, bent under the strain

Because she can take it all but she cannot take the pain...

But life is such for her, pain is her lot to be accepted

Til the day she will break for the last time upon her heart should be crafted

The timeline her body bears as was for its benefit that she went forward

Ahead with life when all she wished for was a fateful end to all that was too hard

For her to deal with, the waking, the sleeping, the smiling...

And those things you take for granted in life while she found it hardest standing...

But the wallpaper is different still

And she battles with her life with a distinct lack of will

Moving on trying to find peace for that heart still stupidly beating

Even though it knows very well for her there will be no loving...

Laurence Ramos

March, 3rd. 2013

I Still Love You

I miss them every day

They left me with so much to say

I look in the mirror

Refusing to accept the errors

That life made us do

And my dears, I miss you....

I go about my life blindly

Nothing I do will make you come back to me

Life trickles day by day

With my heart full of stuff I'd want to say

To you three

You all that I will never again see

I seek for distraction

Full of passion

Never finding a worthy candidate

My life I seem to complicate

Nothing can bring back the love I had

From you, my Mamie, Papy and Dad

You all left me alone

And there was nothing I could have done

To change fate

And still my life I complicate

Tomorrow maybe

I'll join you, one day you'll see

Until then I just hope you are proud of your daughter

No matter what choices she makes, through her pain and laughter

Because you know hope

It's the only thing I can hold to, my last rope

To keep on going

No matter how many time I'm failing

No matter how many mistakes are made

Because this is how our history was made

Through our good and our bad

And 

Mamie, Papy and Dad...

If I could see you now I'd tell you

Just how much I still love you.

Laurence Ramos

March, 1st. 2013